Sonic Unleashed for Wii

Intro

Don’t you miss the days where Sonic ran across a 2D stage?  The days the games were actually GOOD!?  Well, you won’t find that in this game.  What you will find is a game made of poison. 

Game play

In this game, dark energy turns sonic into a “Were-hog.”  It sounds like Sonic turns into a pig at night instead of a wolf-hedgehog thing.  Also, we have already seen this before from Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess.  Anyway, Sonic falls down to Mobius and meets Chip, basically a copy of Midna from Twilight Princess.  Then you learn about Dark Gaia.  I remember an Internet Ad of a store called Gaia.  So, you go to the temples and collect Emeralds.  You learn that Chip is actually Light Gaia, which sounds pretty stupid to me.  After collecting the emeralds, you fight Dark Gaia.  Chip (or Light Gaia) brings together the temples to Fight.  But how can 100,000 year old temples combine to create a powerful robot?  Anyway, them Sonic turns into Super Sonic to finish off Dark Gaia.  That is pretty much the only “cool” thing about the game.

Epilogue and Final Decision

After you beat the game, you can collect sun and moon coins to access areas, which can unlock power-ups and more missions to collect more coins.  I don’t know what happens next.  I quit playing because of the lameness.  So don’t play this game.  You will be sorry.

(P.S.

Sonic colors is coming out soon, which is basically a copy of Super Mario Galaxy.  This can’t be good.)

Duck Amuck for the DS

Intro and Game play

This time, I am reviewing Duck amuck for the DS.  This game is about torturing Daffy, from lighting a bomb instead of a candle for him to texting insults to him.  The game differs from easy games to difficult ones, but most of them are easy!  Like Daffy says, “And there’s no challenge!  And they’re always hitting you in the head with-” So then you start a really hard mini-game, WHICH ALWAYS SHOWS UP!

The rage meter

In this game, Daffy has a rage meter.  If you get it all the way up, you win the game.  Plus, there are unique mini-games differing from low rage, medium rage, and high rage.  In the low rage, you can play a normal mini-game.  In the large range of medium rage, you play that really hard game I mentioned earlier.  In the high rage, you have a stylus duel with Daffy.

                                                                     

Final decision

If you like torture, this is the game for you.  If you are an animal-abuser-hater, don’t play this game.

 

Portal for the PC

Intro

Welcome to the Aperture Science Aided Enrichment review. Your Specimen has been processed, and we are ready to begin the critique Proper.  Deploying review in 3… 2… 1.

Intro (continued)

This game is called Portal if you haven’t read the title.  You are probably thinking: Darn, this is a PC game.  I will have to download it from the internet and I will probably get a virus.  That is not true.  This game is in a virus free disc available at stores.  Now GO AND BUY IT NOW.  The game is the best game ever.

Game play and graphics

You play as a girl.  You are in Aperture Science for testing.  You go through the test directed by a robot named GLaDOs.  The good part of this game is the Portal gun.  With it, you can create 2 kinds of portals. (Blue and orange) If you step into the blue portal, you go out the orange portal, and vice versa.

The graphics are also great, but why must you play as a girl? And HOW CAN THIS WORK ON A 2008 COMPUTER!?

Internet sensation and final decision

You probably know the phrase: “The cake is a lie!”  That comes from this game.  Now, GO TO THE STORE, GRAB IT FROM THE SHELF, AND BUY IT NOW.  Trust me, you will be GLaD you did.
(Portal 2 is out!  I haven't got it yet, but I will.  Then I will write a review.)

Zwinky on the Internet

Intro

This time I will be reviewing Zwinky, from a website on the computer.  It made me cry inside. 

Your room

You start out with a bed, a dresser, a chair, and a desk.  Who would want a bed the size of a locker and a purple desk?  Some people would, but not much.

Looks

There is a variety of clothes, but it’s not worth it.  When did the Nintendo DS FLOAT IN MIDAIR?  Why is part of the Teddy bear removed?  It’s why the looks are bad.

Walking

This is the worst part of Zwinky.  Your avatar is FORCED to stare at the screen.  Even if you are walking backward, you still stare at the screen.  And you don’t even walk!  You just float from place to place.  Also, you can “walk” through walls. 

Emotions, toolbars, and decisions

When you use emotions, the only things that changes is your face.  When you cry, the flood of water is in your few inch square. 

When you think it can’t be worse, it is.  There is a toolbar with many links you do not want other than Zwinky.  Plus, if you disable that toolbar, it disables your Zwinky account.

If you are a boy or a girl, age 0 – ∞, this is not the game for you.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed for Wii

Intro and game play

                     I am now reviewing Star Wars: The Force unleashed for the Wii.  You can buy this one at stores, unlike Toribash.  In this game, you play as Darth Vader's secret Apprentice.  You go to different planets and kill jedi.  Then, you find out that Vader has been actually using you.  Then you go gather the rest of the jedi for a takeover.  But it is too easy to destroy opponents.  That is why they are 5 every meter.  Why don't they just make the enemies harder?

Moves

                     You can use easy-to-get points to buy good moves.  I have NO idea why these are easy to get.  Also, the moves are really hard to learn.  So it really takes some time even if you have 1,000,000 points.

Bosses and final decision

                      There are many bosses differing from easy to hard.  Actually, the hardest isn't even a jedi.  It is a robot with a forcefield.  Is that really all Lucasarts has?  It is hard, but the idea is chiched.  So if you like cool destruction, you might enjoy this game.  It's okay to anyone else, too.

           

Toribash for Wiiware

Intro and Game play

Today I will be reviewing Toribash for Wiiware.  You won’t see this game at stores, because you have to buy it on the Wii shop channel for 1,000 Wii Points.  But it is absolutely worth it.  It is basically a game where you have 2 ragdolls.  You move their joints for combat.  But for the first 50 times you play, the battles aren’t fierce.  After the tutorial, it only leaves you with knowing how to jump, kick, and severing a head.  I was banging my head on the back of my chair wondering how to make a good move.  But then I found a good move, and I was good.

Wi-Fi

You need to know pretty good moves to enjoy Wi-Fi, because it is full of Black belts waiting to destroy people like you.

Final decision

If you are lazy to even look up moves on the internet, this is not the game for you.  If you are smart and know a lot about physics, this is a must-get.